Am watching Bram Stoker's Dracula for class tomorrow. So far we have:

• Gratuitous vandalism of religious statuary.
• Keanu Reeves with a horrible British accent.
• Old!Dracula with a hairdo that looks like a butt from the back.
• Gratuitous uses of circles in transitions.
• Random acts of orgy.
• Random acts of lesbianism.
• Random acts of bestiality.
• Gratuitous moaning of a sexual nature (even when not involved in a sexual situation, though really what in this movie is not at least a metaphor for a sexual situation).
• And Cary Elwes in a pornstache.

I haven't stopped laughing in the hour I've been watching this movie.

ETA: Second half of the movie, we also have Young!Dracula (a.k.a. Gary Oldman) looking like a pimp out of the 70's with

• the John Lennon sunglasses
• the long wavy hair
• the too-huge-to-be-real hat
• aaaand the pornstache.

ETA2: That Southern accent is too horrible to be real. What is with this movie?