While I tweet myself through my grieving process, here are three (ish) fanfic classics that

a) Prominently feature Ianto being awesome.
b) Prominently feature Ianto and Jack getting a happy (ish) ending.
c) Have multiple parts or are novella-length.
d) Have well-crafted plots on the epic scale.
e) Left a deep impression on me.

1. The Doctor & Mr Jones by copperbadge. Ianto is a Time Lord! This fic is basically my personal canon.

2. Unfixed Wishes by christine_twfan. Ianto activates an alien artifact that allows him to be there for Jack when Jack needs him most, even beyond his own lifetime. This fic has a sequel/companion, Secret Admirer.

3. Get Loved, Make More, Try To Stay Alive by dira.* In which Ianto gets pregnant and time is very wibbly-wobbly indeed.


*Who, by the way, wrote one of my favorite Torchwood reaction posts here. Way to see the positive side!

I think the general problem here is that I've forgotten how to write papers. I'll have had to write five this semester, that is insanely little for an English major taking two graduate level classes.

Anyway, my dilemma at present is this: I've decided to write my Victorian Literature paper of morality in Dorian Gray. The reason I decided this was because my teacher brought up this argument that although Oscar Wilde preached art for art's sake and hedonism and all that lovely rot in the Preface of Dorian Gray, Dorian Gray is actually a very moral novel with a clearly moral ending. From there we sort of vaguely discussed whether that made Oscar Wilde vaguely hypocritical or if he was just being his usual contrary self, or what, and the whole time this was going on, the only thing in my head was that this whole argument was wrong:

That Oscar Wilde doesn't use morality in Dorian Gray as a means to an end like other books with a moral would. That each character has their own conflicting sets of morals, and that it was the play between these morals and not the results of them that Oscar Wilde wished to explore. That what makes Dorian Gray so disquieting to the reader is that no character is condemned--they just hurt each other in multifarious ways without the reader ever really knowing where the hurt and the evil originated. That the moral play and the moral conflict and that ultimately directionless moral disquiet is art as Oscar Wilde would define it, useless and unethical and beautiful as it is.

And that I'd had the whole thing explained to me perfectly before in Death Note meta.

Fucking Death Note, which, I'd like to qualify, I never even fucking finished.

But anyway, I thought it would be interesting to re-tailor all that meta-angst about a gay serial killer into a real paper about a book about a gay serial killer queer serial life-ruiner(?). However, trying to reconstruct what went through my head during this discussion is proving damn near impossible. This is what I get for trying to mix fandom and academia.

I blame this entirely on bookshop, especially since, when I sat down to write this paper about seven hours ago, I went to go find a link to this meta on her journal and couldn't. Argh.

But anyway, if there are any Death Note fans on my FList. The meta I'm looking for was a basic commentary that each of the characters in Death Note represented a differing moral standpoint, that they and the reader each brought their differing sets of ethics to the table and the resulting death match was what made Death Note so interesting. I already found another meta/analysis by bookshop that talks about Light's morality in particular, and how the inconsistencies therein which make him a sociopath, and that was interesting, but not the article I was hoping to find.

This is extremely frustrating and more frustrating because I know I am being OCD and tangential, but this is BUGGING ME SO MUCH GUYS. WHERE IS THE MASTERLIST OF DEATH NOTE META ON THE INTRANETS?

So, my life right now. I don't even know where my time is going. I haven't read my FList since the last time I posted. Which is not to say that I haven't been following the LJ. On the contrary, I seem to be around quite often. It's just that it's become a very specific following of very specific things. For example, the shit-ton of Janto fic I've been reading lately. And the fanmixes I've been downloading. And the communities and friends I can be bothered to check up on when I see them pop up on my Firefox alert for new FList posts.

So. I've been reading a shit-ton of a lot of things in the past month. Most of it is shoujo manga. Basically, any and every short shoujo manga that comes up in goosygirl_icons. That girl has fantastic taste. It has become a problem. A time- and bandwidth-consuming problem.

Also, I've been following Nodame Cantabile season 2, which, can I just say, ack. The picture quality in the second season has dropped off the charts. It still has great voice actors and a great story and its the quality and not the aesthetic that's changed, so it's bearable (not like, say, Antique Bakery, which I still haven't watched because the aesthetic quality of that anime is abhorrent to me), but still. It pains me in a the way that one might be pained to see their lover make a horrible faux pas. You love them, right? But you kind of don't want to be seen with them. Oh Nodame, you are not making it easy for me to spread this love I have for you.

What else, what else. Well, there was a lot of school stuff going on this October as well. I had midterms and an insane paper/presentation thing on Yeats whom, let me qualify, I have loved for years, but possibly never want to hear another word about ever again. I ended up dropping that Psych class and my life is a thousand times better off for it.

Over the past long weekend (Columbia closes up for Election Day weekend) I re-watched Torchwood, every episode of Doctor Who with Captain Jack, and also, incongruously, The Sarah Jane Adventures. Then Wednesday night I was cleaning out my gmail account and ran across arekuru's old rec of the Kimi Wa Petto drama, and randomly decided to start watching it. Such a wonderful mistake. I stayed up all night and ended up sleeping through my first class, but GOD, OH MY GOD, I LOVE KIMI WA PETTO. I've been rereading as much of the manga as I've been able to find online. God, no josei will ever be as great as this one. Love love love.

Oh and OBAMA GOT ELECTED. THAT WAS PRETTY COOL, EH?

This is me attempting not to make this into an insane tl;dr post, but I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying their lives as much as I have been enjoying mine. If you haven't, I advise you to repeat the words "PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA" to yourself as many times as it takes for the awesomeness of that statement to sink in. :D

So I've kind of been ignoring the Intranets in favor of being with people in RL. How strange! How new! I've reached this strange plateau where I am consistently about 70 entries behind on my flist.

Well, behind on everything except thremedon and mistful. Speaking of, NEW COVERRRR. Speaking of, LASSST CHAPTTTTEEEEEERRRRRRRS.

( Some DDG fangirling and some fandom-related ranting. )

Moving on to other aspects of my geekery, I have finally seen the original Star Wars trilogy and The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. My nerd cred has received a major boost!

As for other endings I've experienced lately, ( cut for some anime fangirling of Itazura Na Kiss and Natsume Yuujinchou, minimal spoilers for series/season finales. )

On the RL nerd front, I went to (1) Equus last Wednesday for a pre-season showing and only paid $30 because Columbia is very good to its students. I loved it. I loved it so much I didn't even pay attention to DanRad's exposed package. I also went to (2) NY Anime Fest on Saturday, which was a nice time. I got to hang out with some cool firsties and splintercat and her boy-thing. And then, (3) Neil Gaiman's tour stop for NY was at Columbia['s Teachers College]! I take inordinate pride in this. Yay for Columbia supporting the geeky side of book-learning! So I went and had a lovely time listening to Neil be funny and wise for two hours, and now I have a signed copy of The Graveyard Book to show for it, even if I don't know when I'll be able to read beyond the first chapter.

Which brings me to the actually real RL front, where school is sort of getting away from me. I have a paper due for Romantic Poetry on Monday, which happens to be the day of my Psych midterm, and I am not ready for either. Can I write five pages on the use of the word "minstrelsy" in Coleridge's poems? I like the idea because it allows me to explore interpretations we already touched on in class (automatically know I'm not doing it wrong!), but still, writing an entire paper on one word could present a challenge.

(Also, I really want to drop Psych? The readings are unbelievably boring, it really does nothing for my transcript, and I have discovered I have issues with being awake at 8:30 on a Monday morning, surprise surprise. However, I've already promised my friends in that class that I would do a share of the study guide, so I am forced to stay on until the midterm, which is the day before the drop deadline? Dilemma...)

Also, one of my friends--previously referred to on this journal as Paypay--is in the Sign Language Club and has been teaching me things. Today, I learned how to sign "L-U-K-E, I (AM) YOUR FATHER" and "NOOOOOOOO." Also, "What's up, zebra?" is our new unofficial catchsign. You heard it here first.

And thus, this tl;dr post to break all tl;dr posts has come full circle at 6 o'clock in the morning. It is time for me to put this and myself to bed.

I actually have a lot to talk about, but it is 4 in the morning and I have class in 6 hours, so I'll just give the fandom news run down.

Fandoms Entered in Last 6 Weeks

1. Avatar. Ahaha, I fought this for soooo long, but I really can't imagine why. I was originally an early adapter, but I got busy on Fridays and gave it up, yet I kept hearing about the latest episodes on my FList. So one Friday I was thinking about how I kind of missed it and that somehow led to spending the rest of the weekend watching and joining communities. FTR, Sokka owns my soul.

2. True Tears. I finished La Corda D'Oro, so I needed another really gratuitous anime to fill the void. Enter True Tears, where within two seconds of watching the first episode I screamed, "SOOOAAAAAP," and it only went on from there. "WE HAVE ACHIEVED INCEST!"

3. Princess Princess and it's prequels. Okay, this is another one I fought, mostly due to a misunderstanding of the plot. I thought it was some kind of weird cross-dressing club--like ParaKiss, but with many Isabellas. WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? I ended up reconsidering the series because of The Day of Revolution. Gender bending taken to the next level, yay! And then I fell madly in love with Mikoto. And Akira's family via Family Complex. And Tohru and Yuujirou in PuriPuri, but nobody has scans of the last three volumes so I'm not done yet. NEED. WANT. MUST GO BUY. Anyone have thoughts on the drama? Does seeing men cross-dressing IRL destroy the manga/anime's veneer of unmanly cuteness? Speaking of destroying the veneer of unmanly cuteness, I could have gone my whole life without knowing what futanari was. Yes, indeed.

ALSO, HISTORY DORKS MUST READ THESE COMICS. A TEASER: GANGSTA POPE.

Also, writing about Paradise Lost makes me want to rip out vital organs. That may be my period talking, but I seriously doubt it.

I am totally hiding from homework right now. I have pretty much figured this college thing out, including the fact that no matter what I do, at least one class (Origins of Human Society, for instance) is going to give me trouble all semester. Other than that class, I am in a groove and I plan to stay there.

Also, to perhaps karmically repay me for the suck that is my unending battle with Origins, my Japan Civ TA is a Brit--dry wit, heavy accent and all. Plus, he's very knowledgeable about the Heian era. I envision many happily spent class hours.

Also, I'm going to see Rent tonight. With Anthony Rapp and Adam Pascal.

And now, a meme.

( Fandom Relationships Meme! )

I realize that I've joined more fandoms in the past two months than I have, basically, in any 8 week period of my life.

In order of conversion:

1. Oofuri. BATTERY LOVE OWNS MY SOUL.
2. La Corda d'Oro. I have this thing for classical themes in anime.
3. Jacob Black. I really don't understand why I read these books, but I will admit freely that I love him without reservation. He can imprint on me any day. ;D
4. Lovely Complex. BOUNDLESS AFFECTION.
5. The Bridgerton series/novels. Trashy, but this is me not caring.
6. Ikuta Toma. I ACTUALLY TRAWLED LJ FOR PICSPAMS.
7. Princess Tutu. See two. Also, this thing for meta. And fairy tales. Although I was a Ahiru/Fakir shipper from episode one, and now am now all kinds of bitter about that.

And I have pressures to watch Gokusen and Gankutsuou.

And I am going to my first Anime Club meeting tomorrow.

*hangs head* *points to icon*

Also, I'm thinking I should do 50books again. I'm thinking it is madness, but I want to do it anyway.

Okay, so. Super busy. Getting good at this drive-by posting thing.

Just finished Isaiah Berlin's essay, "The Originality of Machiavelli." Biggest thing I got out of it was a deeper understanding of the Slytherin dynamic. Signs that my very thought processes have been irretractibly* altered by fandom: +1.

Have been avoiding LJ (FList reading being its own necessity that I barely even associate with LJ), since my paid account expired. Looking at all of my frozen icons made me depressed.

Across The Universe is out on Friday. Am v. excited. May cry bitter and unrelenting tears if it sucks.

*Irretractible/y is apparently not a word, but it sounds awfully pretty.

Sometimes I sit back while reading a good HP fanfic, or a particularly interesting moment of the books, and the HP fan in me thinks, JKR, the magic in your books is so believable/useful/natural, I love it and this world so much.

And then the Fullmetal Alchemist fan in me thinks back to The Other Minister and that cursed teacup/gerbil trick and screams at me, NO. NO SELF-SUSTAINING LIFE. TABOO. WHERE IS THE EQUIVALENT EXCHANGE. FAIL, JKR, FAIL.

And then my head hurts a lot.

LJ is at it again. 6A's shit is once again hitting the fandom fan and the fandom fan is thinking ominous things, such as "DONE," "GONE," and "TAKE MY PAID/PERMANENT ACCOUNT AND SHOVE THAT UP YOUR ASSES, MORONS."

What does this mean to me?

Thing one, I'm going to let my paid account expire when it's set to, in early September. I loveses my extra icons, but I can deal. LJ won't be getting any of my money until it gives fandom a straight answer about whether they want us or not.

Thing two, I am a member of fandom_counts, innocence_jihad, and fandom_flies. When the time comes for us to go, I plan on being ready and willing.

And now I'm off to read lots and lots of Sakuragi Yaya and Matsumoto Temari, veritable queens of the high school yaoi romance. Heinous!