Okay, I'm done packing... now what do I do? I gack people's memes that's what I do!

( I am also a slave to the LJ-cut )

Mood bored Music Barbie Girl, no thanks to this meme *grumbles* Tags: france, memes

Or my Saturday and Sunday, as it goes...

=Note! This is a continuation of my last entry! You can scroll down to find it or click this link to view it directly.=

( Saturday )

Mood bouncy Music Colored Spade - Hair Tags: anime, fangirling, france, harry potter, rl

It actually feels kind of weird to be writing a journal entry on the computer after I had to turn to my poor notebook for 10 days...

But let me backtrack before I lose everybody. Actually, since this is my last real day in Paris, I'd like to make an overview of the whole trip really. It just seems easier that way.

=Much later after writing this whole entry= I'm going to LJ-cut this because it is so. damn. long. >_<

( Getting to Paris and Paris itself )

Mood accomplished Music La Vie En Rose - I have no idea really... Tags: france, rl

Today... I feel better. Let's make some lists...

I've seen:

Mood giddy Music Lucifer and Me - Hair Tags: france, hair, rl

I've actually been on the computer more in this past day than I've been in the past three weeks. That's sort of disturbing when I think about it really.

Anyway, I'm here. In Paris, France. It's not so bad really. This keyboard is driving me insane, but other than that... God, why the heck should you have to shift to get a period? That's just stupid.

So how has my stay really been so far? Alright I guess. I've spent more of it sleeping than I might have cared for. And I feel like crap. Yesterday, I had this massive headache left over from the flight and then today my stomach is... exteremely not happy...

And it's hot. God, they've got this weird fan-thing in my room and I'm basically huddled against it.

And I feel like an idiot. That part really sucks. I mean my cousin Christine is like 12 and she speaks better English than I do French.

But what about the good stuff?

The apartment is nice, Jean Paul and Martine and Christine are all wonderful. Catherine is a friggin' lifeline and I couldn't be more grateful...

God, who had the bright idea of sticking a 'q' on the 'a' key???

Really the only things that are truly bothering me are my stomach and this keyboard. Considering that, I think these next couple of weeks are going to be all right.

Mood nauseated Music My Donna - Hair Tags: france, rl, sick

I am such an idiot. In no more than 4 days I will have my cousin from France here and then in another three weeks will actually be in France. That is supposed to be friggin’ exciting. I should be out of my mind in anticipation. There should be yelling from rooftops and much of the insane grinning. Except there isn't.

As the days wind down, the only things I'm thinking are along the lines of "Damn I won't be around for that" or "Don't start that now, you won't be around for 6 weeks, its useless." I have such a gnawing and overwhelming want to get involved in all these new things, but I can't bring myself to start out as a newbie and then disappear for over a month. I am actually nauseous with wish that none of it was happening and I could spend summer in peace.

I am a sick and twisted individual.

I have this odd thing about being forced to do things. I think it developed from my father, who can be well-meaning but tends to go mad when you don't do things he tells you to do. It’s not really an old trait of mine. I only recently developed it. As a defense mechanism, I think. But it really is an aversion to making obligations and/or doing things other people tell me to do. Even if the things sound truly appealing to me.

Case in point: For a whole summer people kept telling me I should swim and I knew I would enjoy it when I did it, but I couldn't bring myself to make the effort and people telling me to made me annoyed. Sick and twisted, ne?

But damn it. I really want to join FictionAlley and I know I'll have to lay off when I go back to school... damn damn damn. I hope I can use a computer where I'm going, or else I think that I might have to die from withdrawal.

Of course there will computers, but... God it's just so hard. I don't want to be gone for three weeks. I don't want to be stuck with one person for three weeks before that. In fact, I don't think I've ever been very up to this whole excursion. From the very start I was like 'what?' and then it got to be three weeks... I think I am going to cry.

And I can't even justify these feelings. It's a really selfish side of me that I don't like admitting to, even though I'm quite aware of it.

But its also this overwhelming knowledge of the heart-wrenching homesickness I am going to feel when I am gone. That’s one of the main reasons I'm so adamant about getting people's addresses. I have this feeling like if I keep writing to people, it will keep that part of me sane. And good God I'm going to get all of my summer reading done because I wont be able to sleep. *melancholy sigh*

Growing up in the same house for the whole of your life... Living in that house with hardly any changes since you can remember... Hardly ever being away from that house for more than a few days at a time...

Being a picky eater and fickle sleeper and so far out of shape the word 'shape' is basically a foreign word...

I'm annoyed and uncomfortable and quite a bit scared about all of this.

Both for myself and for what I am going to inflict upon my hosts. *wry grin*

Mood distressed Music Cloud Age Symphony - Last Exile Tags: angst, fandom, france, rl