RL rant in the next few paragraphs, FList. Run while you can.

So, I found out last Tuesday that my oldest friend's mother had died, and instead of feeling grieved in any measurable, healthy way, I promptly stopped sleeping. This went on in a pretty intense and stubborn manner until the funeral this Monday, which I skipped classes for, during which I had a good cry and after which I hugged my parents and came back to school and slept for eight deep hours, and then had one blissful day of relative normalcy before Wednesday, when my body decided to expel all of its repressed confusion and grief in the form of a violent stomach virus, and then, after 24 hours of sickness and delirium (when I should have been in class, making up what I missed on Monday), I woke up feeling mostly better except that I was suddenly, once again, apparently unable to sleep.

I hate this. I hate this so much. I hate that death happens to good people, to people I love, and that my body is such a psychosomatic bitchface, and that I can't help but selfishly despair over the fact that this all happened a week before midterm season, and how I am in no way prepared to deal with all this except to loose my directionless fear and rage into the wilds of the Intranets in the early morning when I should be dead to the world and am instead far, far too alive to it.

I did nothing this break. Not even the necessary things. I am going to rushedly pull together my homework tomorrow and then face the rest of the semester with all of the stoicism and grace of a chicken with its head cut off. I can see it already.

But you know what? I think I needed this. If I have learned anything in my 18.9672 years, it is that March is never a good month for me. I should just stop fighting it. Better to have taken the week off and pretended the March of my academic calendar didn't exist, than to have flirted with insanity like a desperate Regency debutante, which is what I've done every other year of my life.

That last sentence should make it clear what I've done with my break. I re-read Cotillion and got two books farther into the Bridgerton series (An Offer From A Gentleman and Romancing Mister Bridgerton). I think before I sleep tonight I will finish re-reading The Viscount Who Loved Me.

I should probably mention that I bought those two Bridgerton books on a shopping trip with my mother, who offered to buy my not-insubstantial stack as an early birthday present (convenient, really, as I most probably won't be home for the actual date). She flipped through them as I handed them to her, saw the two romance novels, and exclaimed, "Julia Quinn! My daughter is reading Julia Quinn!" Then she started making a big deal about it. Would not shut up about it all the way home! Once we got there, she pulled down some of her old favorites and insisted I take them back to college with me. SHE DID NOT GET THIS EXCITED WHEN I GOT MY FIRST PERIOD. WHAT DOES THIS SAY ABOUT MY FAMILY?

I also battled a sinus-whatsit. My trademarked Changing Of The Seasons Commemorative Cold. I'm so sick of these already and it's only been four years. I will tell you bitterly that I hate mucus more than I hate any other fluid in the world.

Bright spot was seeing The Pillows on Friday with splintercat, which was just, unaccountably awesome. Great first general admission experience, definitely. Although I have paid dearly for it with a relapse. I also have aches that have nothing to do with illness to add to the unending party that is my tissue-strewn dorm room. Yet I do believe it was worth it. I hate to say this, but does anyone know where to illicitly download their discography? I really need to catch up.

I'm going to go back to Viscount now, and avoid facing my responsibilities for a few more precious hours. Happy Easter/Spring to all, and to all a good night.

Right, so. Last Friday, I GOT A HAIRCUT. Like, a real, five-inches-off haircut! MY FIRST HAIRCUT. Unfortunately, it was without my consent, so uh, the shock was so great that I got sick immediately after.

( A weirdly long ramble about the event and the resulting cold... )

I started feeling better just in time to do one last movie with my friends yesterday. We saw 27 Dresses which was, overall, about as good as we thought it would be. The plot was as surprisingly mediocre (even for a romcom, it was predictable and lazy) as the performances of the leads were surprisingly strong. I never really appreciated James Marsden. I thought he was a pretty kind of okay. THIS MOVIE CHANGED MY MIND SO HARD AND FAST, I AM TEMPTED TO MAKE TEN DOLLAR WHORE JOKES, HAHAHA. God. "Bennie and the Jets" will never be the same for me again. 27 Dresses had its moments, and those moments are enough to make me want to see it again, but I am the kind of girl to which these romcoms pander. See at your own discretion.

And then today I moved back into the dorms. Hello again, NYC. One of my New Year's Resolutions was to take advantage of the city more, so let's see how that goes!

Uh, and I'm starving. Going to go make a sandwich now. Extra-crunchy peanut butter, how I've missed you!

I'm getting sick. Oh, damn it. I've got a sore throat and a fuzzy head and an achy neck and I have two papers I haven't started yet due on Thursday. I want to shoot things. I want to shoot things and make them dead. Damn it damn it damn it all.

Karma, you are indeed a bitch.

Despite the so-called War on Christmas, my holiday appears to be going as well as can be expected when one is coughing and sneezing and generally still sick. I cannot escape the Christmas music -- it has invaded my very thoughts. I'm quite pleased.

The biggest problem I appear to be having with Christmas is that I want to spend the entire day re-reading HikaGo. It was awesome, I loved it, Hikaru and Akira are the best main characters ever. It was like they blossomed into bishounen right before my eyes! I was sick and they made me feel less like ripping my throat out with my bare hands! I'm very grateful.

First Gackt, and now Hikaru no Go. I fear what will happen the next time that I get seriously sick.

Ah well, I'm off to eat Christmas cookies and avoid the living room because gifts are being wrapped. Happy Christmas!

I had to go and get sick AGAIN. My last Changing of the Seasons Commemorative Cold(TM) was in what? May? Why did spring have to come so late this year???

Taking finals while my nose was running like a faucet and my cough was disturbing the entire room is quite possibly the most humiliating thing I've had to do in a long time.

ALSO, I DID NOT APPRECIATE HAVING WELL-MEANING, BUT UTTERLY ANNOYING CHOIR BUDDIES CHUCKING PENCILS AT MY HEAD FOR THEIR OWN SICK AMUSEMENT WHILE I WAS ATTEMPTING TO STUDY FOR MY BIO FINAL. WHAT PART OF "I FEEL LIKE CRAP AND REALLY DON'T WANT TO BE HERE," MAKES YOU THINK THAT PARTICULAR TACTIC IS GOING TO ENTERTAIN ME?

NO LOVE,

Liz

I've actually been on the computer more in this past day than I've been in the past three weeks. That's sort of disturbing when I think about it really.

Anyway, I'm here. In Paris, France. It's not so bad really. This keyboard is driving me insane, but other than that... God, why the heck should you have to shift to get a period? That's just stupid.

So how has my stay really been so far? Alright I guess. I've spent more of it sleeping than I might have cared for. And I feel like crap. Yesterday, I had this massive headache left over from the flight and then today my stomach is... exteremely not happy...

And it's hot. God, they've got this weird fan-thing in my room and I'm basically huddled against it.

And I feel like an idiot. That part really sucks. I mean my cousin Christine is like 12 and she speaks better English than I do French.

But what about the good stuff?

The apartment is nice, Jean Paul and Martine and Christine are all wonderful. Catherine is a friggin' lifeline and I couldn't be more grateful...

God, who had the bright idea of sticking a 'q' on the 'a' key???

Really the only things that are truly bothering me are my stomach and this keyboard. Considering that, I think these next couple of weeks are going to be all right.