Because I really want to see a Merlin fanvid set to Amy MacDonald's "A Wish For Something More." It would be Gwen's POV, and all about her crush on Merlin when she can see he is too busy crushing on Arthur to notice her. For serious, every line of this song has a corresponding Merlin scene in my head. It is so clear that I actually opened up Windows Movie Maker to attempt the impossible, but it wouldn't show my video or even import the song, so I took that as a sign that I should accept that my place in the universe does not lie in the video editing arena. Doesn't stop me pining though!

Alternatively, I could make a mix. However, I don't actually care enough about Gwen to make one that was just about her, so it would have to be everybody/Merlin and that would go the way of crack too fast for this song to really fit in it. I despair! See icon.

As a bonus for reading this strange and pretty much pointless post, here's the song in question.

Thank you so much, everyone who commented on my last post. It means a lot to me. And you'll be relieved to hear that later that day I had a whole breakdown/cryfest that resolved a lot of the lingering issues, and I have been up and about for well over a week. Just in time for a CRAZY MIDTERM WEEK OF DOOM.

As proof of my gratitude, I will not complain about the midterm madness and will instead move on to lighter topics.

Things I have been doing with my time that you might actually be interested to hear about:

Merlin fandom (through Delicious) - I think I need to have Delicious taken away from me. It is a terrible and addictive timesuck and my network is far too enabling of the crazy fangirl indulgence. My Bradley James love continues to reach new heights of creepitude every day.

( Anime-related bold points: Code Geass, Zoku Natsume Yuujinchou, Earl and Fairy )

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Okay, so I am watching the show for the first time? I'm kind of in the middle of season 2 right now? I'm enjoying myself, but in true Elizabeth form failing to really love it because it has been over-hyped? However, I've heard the show doesn't really get truly awesome until like, season 5 or so? And Bradley James is a huge fanboy, so I figure this is just another way I am succumbing to the insanity of my love for him.

Antique - As in the Korean movie adaptation of Antique Bakery with the general hotness factor, and in particular the gay text/subtext quotient, turned up to 11. Basically, already awesome Antique Bakery now with SMOKING HOT GAY LOVIN' with a French Jonathan Rhys Meyers look-alike. And THREE-DIMENSIONAL(!) insanely delicious-looking pastry. And insanely GORGEOUS set designs and cinematography. And INSANELY INSANE RANDOM MUSICAL INTERLUDES. I basically watched this movie with my mouth hanging open the entire time.

Also, I had another Merlin dream where I was traveling with the gang in a kind of modern world, where we all had monster companions. Like, I'm talking digimon/pokemon, Japanese fighting familiar, amalgam-ish monsters. There were stock poses and cg sparkle effects and shit. My subconscious is an amazing place.

I was just talking about the slash dragon and 1) how I still like him even after his horrible betrayal, 2) the tenor of his speeches in that last couple of episodes when he was like "us mythical beings got to stick together" or whatever, and 3) how Merlin's eyes flash golden like the dragon's eyes when he uses magic. Suddenly, the following exchange popped into my head:

Merlin: You know nothing of my father!
Dragon: Merlin, I am your father!
Merlin: NOOOOOOO.

WTF, self. WTF.

On bus to Boston. Umbrella has come on my iPod shuffle. Arthur/Merlin vid unfurling before my mind's eye. Tell me this already exists. Please please please.

Okay, so I basically slept for two straight days. That was weird. It is Tuesday right? OH GOD, WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S WEDNESDAY ALREADY? *despairs of self*

Hello, new thremedon friends (*waves*)! I love you all, but I want you to know that I've gone more insane than usual the last 10 days or so making Spotlight Fest and Christmas happen at the same time. My parents and extended family sort of hate my blackberry now. (What is that infernal buzzing sound? And why is it coming from your pocket?)

My Christmas, as a result, was a total blur. I think I got some good stuff. I got a new printer, new laptop speakers, and Iron Man, which were the three things I needed desperately. I gave my mother not one but FOUR pairs of handmade earrings, which she loved. And my relatives were as generous as could be expected when we are a lower middle class family struggling with the crappy economy. I think I should consider myself satisfied, and lucky.

Also, somewhere in that mess I went to go see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, which was AMAZING. It was funny, visually interesting, and let us just say I BAWLED at the end. And I don't mean the closing scene left some tears in my eyes. I mean for the last 20 minutes or so I was crying quietly, but freely in my seat. And as soon as the credits started rolling, I actually started sobbing, which was embarrassing, but very cathartic. Basically, I am a SAP, but I think this movie earned all those tears, which is more than I can say for other movies I've cried during.

Tomorrow/today, I have a New Year's party to attend, and then on the 2nd, I'm heading up to Boston to stay with the illustrious PayPay to belatedly celebrate the date of her birth.

The downside to all of this is that... I have fallen woefully behind in the Merlin fandom and will continue to fall even more behind over the next week or so. It is actually pathetic how quickly I got used to seeing Bradley James' face on my Flist every day. D:

I just woke from a nap where I had a dream that Arthur and Merlin were going to college in a city (it looked suspiciously like Columbia). At first they were just randomly walking down the street, but they got into an argument and Merlin was really angry at Arthur being a prat all the time. Then, Arthur was like "fuck you, I am a fucking great human being," and then he grabbed Merlin's hand and they ran to this insanely large playroom with like, 30 or so kids playing around in these gigantic play-castles, and he said, "Merlin, welcome to Camelot."

Because in my dream, Uther ran an orphanage and Camelot was the rec center that Arthur was in charge of. And of course, this place was fucking awesome, and Merlin was all like, trying not to look too impressed, "Well, at least this is in keeping with your general maturity level."

This was a fucking great dream, guys. Except for the part where it was all about me trying to escape the responsibilities of getting older (seriously, they're at a college that looks like my college and then they run away to a playland paradise? way unsubtle). But you know, finals are over, and I'm going home tomorrow. I have no need for these things you call responsibilities.

In other news, thremedon is going to be spotlighted on LJ starting next week! I find this exciting as hell! splintercat and I are trying to be good mods for once and put together some special events over there, so Havemercy fans, stay tuned. :)

Okay guys, this is the shittiest of shitty things I have ever done.

I would like all those new to this journal to realize that I am not actually this half-assed of a writer. In fact, in most cases I prefer commenting on your awesome fics and not subjecting you to my own inferior creations, even when I have put a decent amount of effort into them.

However, my roommate is loweryourwand, and she and I are avoiding studying for finals, and she is the queen of the crack manips. So when she asks me to take arcane physics concepts (nonslip conditions, wtf) and turn them into Merlin crack!fic, I oblige.

( Cut for untitled Merlin RPS I wrote in 20 minutes. In which we find some salient details of the Great Spider Rescue Mission were left off the cast diaries )

Am doing last minute edits to paper. Noticed that in conclusion, which I wrote while half-asleep, I actually referred to Keats as Arthur. Think perhaps need to step back and gain some perspective. Do not intend to do that anytime soon though. Will perhaps endeavor in order to do justice to other paper am writing this week on Dorian Gray. Dorian Gray less likely to remind me of 19th century medievalism, hopefully less likely candidate for distraction.

GUYS, I LOVE ROMANTIC POETRY. I LOVE SONNETS. I LOVE KEATS. OBVIOUSLY, I SHOULD BE ABLE TO SIT DOWN AND WRITE THIS PAPER. AND YET INSTEAD, I AM UNABLE TO EXTRICATE MYSELF FROM MY SPASTIC FANGIRLING. FUCKING FUCK WHY MUST ENGLAND BE SO GREAT WHY MUST MY LOVE GET ALL CONFUSED ABOUT WHICH TIME PERIOD I'M SUPPOSED TO BE FOCUSING ON (LIKE, FOR INSTANCE, CELTIC TIMES THAT PRODUCED THE ARTHURIAN LEGEND, 19TH CENTURY TIMES THAT PRODUCED KEATS AND TENNYSON AND WATERHOUSE, OR MODERN TIMES THAT PRODUCED BRADLEY JAMES' ASS).

Fuck I haven't gone to sleep yet so this is going to be horrible and rambley, but here, a glimpse into my head.

( Arthur is James Potter )

My 23-hours-without-sleep talk. Sooner or later everything in my life comes down to how closely I can parallel it to Harry Potter. I am not even kidding.

ETA: OMFG, according to this, Lancelot is Snape. Ahahahaha, oh God.